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exposé on sx2: behind the curtain

Sx 2 is not fawning and people pleasing; it’s flattering and creating dependencies. At times it may look this way... Like she’s morphing into your ideal lover created just for you. But if you look closely you’ll notice her gifts are narrow. All fall within the context of nurturing, of motherly style love and services of her choosing.

She’s a self-taught-one-trick pony posing as a prized mare. She really can’t be trained, but when she flashes a smile, bats her eyelashes, and brings you a treat it may be enough to make you forget. Try to push her to give something outside of her plastic June Cleaver repertoire, though, and you’ll know immediately she cannot be tamed.

She casts an amnesia spell making her lover forget any lovers who came before her… and while under the spell she insures he will never remember them again by making herself indispensable in every way. The best. The most willing to explore uncharted and boundless sexual territory. She seeks to make her lover impotent to any but her.

When her jealousy gets the best of her she might even briefly consider a complete castration, but then she’d be depriving herself of the only need she’s ever admitted to, the one that’s insatiable, the constant affirmation of his love and desire…. For her and her alone. And she might also be deemed useless and unneeded, unable to see herself in any other role, she quickly abandons the fantasy.

With the vulnerability and competition of sx first combined with the power and control of 2, there’s not truly a victory when a heart is easily won. The disconnect from the Virtue of Holy Will makes 2s often seek to win the hearts of the difficult. This might create a conundrum of sorts since what the 2 most wants is to prove her lovability… but the affect of rejection coupled with the passion of pride tucks them in each night regardless of your reaction. If when plucking petals from a flower it were to land on “he loves me not” she’d just quickly pick another flower. Ahhh “he loves me!”

The conundrum this does create, however, when the 2 awakens to her patterns, is the realization that forced love isn’t love at all. To be seen for one’s value apart from the gifts given and picture one has painted of herself feels like a dream that can never be realized. “Who I am”seems unable to be divorced from “what I give”; if “what I give” is removed I cannot be seen on the level of identity. There’s not a fear of a monster beneath the image hologram. There’s a fear of nothingness. Existential annihilation.

This is the main crux of 2 shame; this fear of nothingness apart from its actions of the heart. The gnawing that behind the hologram the true heart it feels it is projecting is not there. There's only me playing in a movie of me. Which doesn't allow anyone in to my true heart even though that's all there is … so if they infiltrate, if they go back stage... what if there's nothing there?

Image types all have a deep connection to shame, but it’s expertly hidden by the ego’s defenses. This is because to feel that daily would make living impossible. A 2 cannot be heart in motion, love as action, if it is drowning in a puddle of how unlovable it may be. Pride is an insulation, a motivation, an inspiration! Pride is what makes it possible to wake up. Pride is the fuel in the tank of the rocket that can’t launch without it.

Ichazo called type 2 The Independent. It insulates itself from its recognition of its needs because on some level deep in the psyche it knows to have needs may be a powerless position. If one is needy, one can’t be needed. If one isn’t needed, one isn’t loved.


A pure heart dreams of a place love is free

Told by ego this will never be

We are not connected automatically

Every heart won systematically


Please make no mistake, this is not a “confessional.” I know love fuels and guides my every action. I know my love is pure. Manipulation does not imply a lack of sincerity; it’s quite the opposite. I love so hard that I’ll do anything; there is no sacrifice too great for love.

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